jermie

so i get out of sch... and realise that i have another problem what am i going to do with my life? shld i work, study or just slack it away? i have been waiting and wanting to get out of sch. and now i got that wish but... whats the next move? issit just me or something but i dun wanna face reality. i dun want to face the future. i dun evn want to knw if i do haf one... sigh... i am getting so tired of it all. i jus move on... but where do i evn begin? wad if the beginning is the end? sheesh... sometimes i wonder where is the eternal optimist that i knw or knew? bleah!

I am sick of guys and their nonsense. Argh! Why cant they be nice and straightforward? Why do they have play games that dont make sense and end up hurting me? AM I SUCH A HORRIBLE FRIEND? it seems like evry frenship i have with a guy just falls apart!? I just wanna scream! ARGH! ENOUGH! I dont want to have anything, anymore to do wid guys and being their frens. DISCLAIMER : this is not meant for every guy i knw but just specially for the idiots who hopefully know who they are though i dont think they will, considering they are idiots themselves.

freeeedomm! shant elaborate more. its fine. i will get over it in time to come. no sweat! cos i am JERM the pro.... but whatever that happened will probably stick in my memory for many years to come. it really has taught me a lesson. a lesson i will probably never forget. maybe it is a good thing that it happened. cos it really open my eyes to everything and everyone else. i sometimes get so irritated with myself. cos i am such an persismistic optimist or issit an optimistic perssimist? haha i have no idea. though i guess it is just me. i cant stay mad at someone for too long. i cant stay pisssed at someone for long. i cant stay sad for too long. i cant stay upset for too long. i cant be negative for too long. i guess its jus me...... so i revert back to being happy and joyful which is the old me. haha. well this time it is a lesson and probably a lesson i will never forget. haha bleah!

Sometimes its the small things that matter The shortest conversation with someone The little note to someone The smallest expression on someone's face The solitary tear The shadow of a wink The smallest of a smile The light flick of the hair The gentlest touch of the hand The softest whisper The tiny little baby The tiny little town The tiny little dream ONE GREAT KING if the smallest things dont matter then... what about the big things? after all... dont the biggest of things begin with the smallest of things?

where are all my frens when i need them?? am i such a selfish person? when all i want them to be is happy. i nvr tot i wld get hurt by a frenship. bt i am hurt nw and maybe onli becos i care too much for them. maybe i shld stop. nah! its nt in my nature to not be a fren because i gt hurt by one. tts silly and tts nt me. maybe my mum is rite. abt me being a strong person. always getting up whenever i fall.. hmm ok.. maybe it will take a while bt i always get up in the end. .. .. . i nw understand hw impt frens are. they are your tower in times of need. i nvr realli understood hw someone can depend so much on their frens until they will even give up their lives for them. i am not that noble. i haf decided that i will still be a fren no matter what. no matter whether i got betrayed or whether they are mean to me. its just another level of frienship that's all. so if u nd a fren... i will try to be there (wanted to say always bt i cant la. i will be lying. cos i cant always be there. d...

its been a while hasnt it? school's been so busy and now... i think my wish is coming true. sch is ending in one wk time. wonder will i miss it? its been 3 yrs at Ngee Ann Polytechnic long yrs maybe? but... meaningful for sure... the friends i made, the lessons i learnt, the mistakes made and learnt. maybe i will miss school? but it is so unlike me to miss something like school. school... wads to miss about it? been wanting to get out of it since day 1. and now, the dream is fast approaching and yet, i stand and shiver what will the future hold? will i be able to survive? onli time will tell i guess.. thanks for all the memories!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! GONG XI FAI CAI! HONG BAO NA LAI! haha.. so it is that time of the year again. the wonderful hong bao collecting and feasting of the new year goodies. the food is great. the company is good too. what more can i ask for? er............................ MORE hong baos maybe? haha.