jermie

its been a wonderful time at Junior Camp. just learning and interacting with the children.. i am nt a camp officer yet but a helper... it was still fun tho.. hard work but lotsa fun.. i cant wait to get baptised then i can help serve as a camp officer.. :) the theme for tis year's camp is CHA RAC TER . to help us remember the lessons learnt, the pastors came up with the acroynms FAT SO . F - FEELINGS (feelings can control ur character) A - ACTIONS (actions define ur charater) T - THOUGHTS (thoughts influence ur feelings and actions which in turn control ur character) S - SPIRITUAL (how God and ur relationship with him affect ur character) O - OUTCOME (after taking the above into consideration, what will ur character be like? gd or bad?) aft our long day, 2 camp officers Tr Aileen and Tr Cheng Kee gave us some 'vespers'. just some verses to comtemplate about.. the first nite was about faith and duty and 'for the sake of', faith and perserverance, service and...

someone mentioned to me that my blogs are so depressing and sad... and so unlike the happy and crazy ME that she knws.. and so i bet she must be wondering if it is the real ME that she knws.. incidentally i wonder abt tht all the time.. am i real the ME when i am with my frens or issit jus a facade? another fren gets a real kick outta the word facade.. haha another fren asked a very interesting qn once... whether we are real in church? whether we are realli ourselves that we are at home and in church.. in fact she questioned abt having a couple of identities at one time.. that made me think that wont it be tiring to do that.. can u imagine leading a separate life frm church and sch and family and work and frens and another grp of frens and another... in the end u probably wont even knw who the true person is? who u realli are.. haha for a moment i tot i lost myself there.. haha anyway... then my next qn.. wad happens if the different identities meet and somehow clashed with each othe...

oh boy! am i gld for frens who keep in contact thru my blog... makes me feel so honoured that people are reading and watchin out for me.. but sometimes they're jus kaypo.. ok being kaypo isnt always a bad thing.. ok maybe tts the onli one to find out more about someone... to Joyce, i never call u kaypo ah.. in fact i dun mind if u kaypo more.. thks for looking out for me and wondering wads gg on in my life? depressed i am not.. some nonsense i am going thru tts all.. to Juli, soon i'll call u.. i beta stop talkin like Yoda otherwise juli nt gg to talk to me.. haha :D too bad.. resist i cant... hahah :D

i am drowning.. i cant seem to even stay afloat. tis is the first time i ever felt tis way before.. its so scary and it becomes even more scary becos i havent realli got anyone to cry out to.. well i do haf someone, he is the BIG GUy in the sky.. he'll always be there for me no matter wad. but it jus seems lik i cant realli trust anyone on tis earth.. nt evn the ppl closest to me.. somehow coming back frm the YAG retreat has opened up my eyes a little.. i am able to see my frenships and haf evaluated many of them. and to my horror, most of them are frens tt i can actually do without.. bt yet, there are those that i need.. its so weird just thinking thots like tt and wondering wad to do.. Pastor did warned us tht aft the retreat some of us might leave it with evn lesser frens den before. but he hopes tht the lessons learnt wont go to waste and from there we'll learn to make new frens.. but why do we nd frens? issit even neccessary? SOmeone asked a very interesting qn once, if w...

its been a while since i blogged or turned on a comp.. been busy with work and haven realli had the time to do anything.. to be honest i haf given up on job searching, i am jus so tired.. evryone been asking and bugging me abt it i knw evryone is jus being concerned... but its enough! i cant take it anymore.. tho its realli interesting to see wads been happening in my life... i can realli trace God's hand in my life.. i haven realli had a lot of trials in my life.. bt when i do, its nt tt hard.. ok it hard bt nt tt... ok maybe nt hard bt difficult.. haha :D felicia's thinks she smarter den me.. its ok.. i can live wid tt haha :D nt evryone can be as smart as me.. its ok.. anyway.... i digresss... i am stuck.. haven been stuck in a long time usually jus talk non stop. haha:D ok maybe its a first.. well there's always a first for evrything rite? haha ciao!!

Something just keeps BUGGING me. i knw i shld stop thinking abt that nite. but its realli almost breathtaking.... and so surreal... been spending alot of time at someone's place.. mum's been annnoyin abt it. but it (ambiguous... haha wads it refering to? spending alot of time at someone's place or my mum being annoying abt it? haha...) wont last... at least i hope not.... s i g h i miss him... do i tell him? wonder if he will discover/stumble upon my blog?

are u back already? it feels like forevr. haha sometimes i wished that i have never met u.. den maybe life would be better and boring. sigh. i wonder whether if i turn away and forget u. will my life be so empty as it is nw? will it be a mistake that i will regret all my life? why i asked if u were happy cos i am willing to just leave and forget u if u are happy... wads the point of making life more complicated den it already is... but that nite was just so surreal and so beautiful... u promise that things would remain the same and that nothing would change btwn us... u sure? u sure u can make me a promise and keep it? cos if u say u can den, i will hold u to ur word and if u break it... it will be the end of evrything we had... cheers to promises and tears...