Vanish, Vamoose, Disappear

i told juli that i will
write you a letter
before your disappearing act.

but whenever i sit in front
of my computer.
my notepad.
my journal.
pen in hand.
mouth in heart.
er. heart in stomach.
thoughts amess.
and eyes aflood.

my brain hangs,
hibernates,
standbye mode,
shuts down.

I freeze..
what do i say to u?

the truth?
a lie?
nothing?

but i told her i will try...
so try i will...